What makes you happy?
The big things in life or the small things. A whole bunch of quotes out there emphasize how small things matter more to keep you happy. The same set of people ask you to not stress the small things. It is confusing.
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What matter is what matters to you. To a student, getting admission to the uni and course they want matters the most. They can’t be happy about getting a good CAT or GMAT score if they don’t get the school they want. To some, like my father, accomplishment of his children mattered more than anything he himself accomplished. He has always undermined his own achievements and magnified our smallest victories. To some parents, happiness is defined by personal accomplishments and their contribution towards their children’s success.
I learnt about finding happiness in small things when I was 20. This really is one of those moments of truth that hit me and not just my use of storytelling technique to make a point. I was in final year, about to graduate. I was visiting Bombay to interview for a B School admission. My father and I were staying with a relative in Navi Mumbai and were traveling back late night after tanking the interview and touristing for consolation, in the famous Mumbai local train. There were a bunch of kids- hawkers on the train, friends returning home after the days work. I saw them take a round at the now nearly empty local for last hunt for customers and settle near the doors, earshot from me. There were three boys and a girl, not even in their teens, shabbily dressed, made worse by a long tiring day. They were playful and enjoying themselves. The girl was showing off new earrings she had just bought for five bucks from another local train hawker. The boys complimented her on how pretty she looked with the earrings. They were all happy, singing, playing. And here I was sitting with all my privileged life sulking at how bad this one interview went.
I felt like I had no right to be unhappy. I had it all, I was only allowed to be grateful. Life became more complex as I grew up but that memory has stayed. Decades later, I still remember that day and think about that little girl sometimes. The movie slumdog millionaire covered this thought beautifully that you can be happy even when literally covered in shit.
Happiness is within and is truly a pursuit. And whether small or big, several things contribute to it. To be more happy, we just need to increase the list of things that makes us happy.
My next set of books and reading is on happiness. And before I explore the psychology, sociology and biology of happiness. I wanted to pen down my uninformed and unadulterated beliefs and thoughts. Please share your view point and any recommendations on reading material.
