Coaching is exhausting and energizing at the same time.
Every coach has a unique style which they continue to hone. They are also expected to not allow their emotions, journey, thoughts to overpower the conversation. I learnt how to coach from someone I consider is one of the best coaches for authentic leadership (although not the most well known). He shaped how I manage my conversations. However, as any disciple, I have had my own journey and developed my own unique style. I have been a coach for over a decade and a half, and have seen coaches sprout find their specialities. Its not an easy field of work. It may seem altruistic and easy but is actually hard work.
Types of Coaches
In the past two years, I've met various coaches. There are now all kind of specialities which is a topic for another day. There are life coaches who help people manouver through all aspects of their life, they look at life as a whole and while they might break into compartments for the purpose of discussions, they bring it all together. There are relationship coaches, who work with individuals or couples or groups to help people with their relationships (duh!). There are positivity coaches who help people find optimism and hope in life. There are dating coaches who help people find a partner or a date. There are spiritual coaches who are like gurus or sometimes lead people to find a religious guru. Many religious are now labeling themselves as spiritual coach/ guide. There are health coaches who focus on health goals people set for themselves. There are career coaches who work on people find and walk their professional path. There are transformational coaches who help people identify and become their authentic self. Coaching has become prevalent, and having a coach is somewhat fashionable.
Authenticity in Coaching
In my interaction with the coaches, I've heard many say how they are versatile and can work with anyone. They (including me) talk about the impact they have made in other's lives, of course while maintaining confidentiality of their clients. Coaches are also expected to be, and rightly so, discreet. But I have realised that many coaches, by virtue of their coaching practice have become secretive and closed. They are often conscious about how they are perceived because many of them sit and judge people. But they are afraid to reveal their true opinion because the first rule of coaching is to withhold judgement and create space.
This is where the downfall of coaching begins. Practicing what you preach does not come easy. I have deep admiration for coaches who are honest about their preferences and style. Coaching, like therapy, like friendships, like workplace relationships, requires meeting of minds. And meeting of minds requires authenticity.
Energized or exhausted?
Coaches are exhausted or energized by people they coach. They do better when they are energized. In some assignments, coaches do not have the option to choose. For example, in group coaching, there are always distractors and enablers. Or when choosing a corporate assignment for a group of leaders, there can't be a selection process. Don't get me wrong, I do not mean that coaches should only select coachees who are 'ready'. But they should choose assignments and coachees (where they can), basis their area of expertise.
Coaches thrive when they know their area of strength. Are you here to 'save the lost souls' find direction or purpose? Do you connect better with entrepreneurs? Are you better at coaching for transition stages at workplace or life? Are you better at leadership coaching from principles perspective or strategy perspective? Do you prefer relationship coaching for those working on their existing relationship or those looking for a new one? And this in no way means that coaches should work with only one set of people, it just means that knowing yourself before you help people know themselves builds authenticity and credibility.
Every coach has a preference. Identifying their area of expertise and energy will make the equation work on both ends of the relationship.
