Month: January 2012

Trust, family and leaders

Yesterday I went for one of the most beautiful walks around big ben and london eye with the closest friend I have in London.
She said something in the conversation which is going to stay with me forever. She said that when she was younger, her parents told her that she should trust her parents with her secrets because no matter what they never would or could betray her trust. It had me go back to what my Dad keeps telling me about marriage. He says that I should get married because I will need this one person in life who I can trust with anything and everything.
It’s only our family we can trust the way we do. And thats how over the years, friends who keep our secret become our BFFs – people we can trust with most of our secrets. Families just happen to know more aspects of our lives because we let our guards down with them. Even if they dont know our daily lives, they know our deepest fear and desires. It took me back to thinking about P who has her guards around her all the time. She could never trust her secrets with her parents or sister. And then I thought for long and realised that there were times that she did and its only her family who could understand her the way they did. As she has grown, I’ve seen her trust her mother more than ever.

The thought that popped in my head was that we tend to idolize our parents. I remember in primary school, one of the common essay topic was who we look upto and most children wrote about one of their parent. And I started thinking about leaders. They are people we follow, people we want to be like. I have always spoken about trust during my work with managers. Is leadership about creating a trusting zone? Is that the core requirement of being a leader? Yes, there can be leaders who inspire us because of something exceptional they have done. In that case we are not in constant touch with them.
The more I think, the more complex dimensions of leadership become. I think it just hit me that leadership and trust are more closely connected than I had thought.